When You’re Not OK

This morning I was scrolling through my facebook, and I noticed a few posts from people who were celebrating anniversaries or major milestones. #Blessed. Eyeroll. It’s sometimes I find myself scrolling down these posts thinking, “Um wait, should I be wanting a baby?” or “Should we be taking more vacations?” I scroll through Instagram at all the models and literally want to go throw up everything I ate.  Leave it to social media to make you feel like crap about your life.

In today’s society, a lot of us feel pressure to post positive things, to paint ourselves in the light we want people to see us in. “Look at me everyone!” Ok, so yesterday I posted a picture of my “new” short haircut. I looked at it again and realized I am guilty of the same thing. I was all like “Hey guys check my sassy hair” I SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES.

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I like it now but serious.

Yesterday, I was so NOT ok. I had a bad day. I was stressed about a trillion things so I ate half a bag of rice chips and a bowl of chili for lunch. I was overtired and feeling guilty about my food binge during a crazy weekend. My workout sucked. I was so stressed that at my hair appointment to get a trim, I CUT MY F*CKING HAIR OFF.  Straight Britney. I actually like it now (and thank god my stylist is good), but still. I was able to drown my sorrows in red wine while watching the Presidential Debate. ***cue more drinking*** My bad day rolled in to this morning. It was freezing, raining and I committed myself to go to boxing. I didn’t want to be there. Then I got in a fight with my husband (my fault). NAILED IT. After that fight, I decided to take off my eyelash extensions because I decided I no longer need nice things.  Imagine a lunatic rubbing baby oil on her eyes while crying  and muttering the phrase, “I am doing the best I can”? Then I cried and stared at myself in the mirror. Then I ate chili for breakfast and blew my macros, so I’m in poverty the rest of the day. ANYONE WITH ME HERE?!

Anyone who saw me or spoke to me yesterday probably had zero clue I was having a terrible day. I actually ran into someone at the gym who said , “God you never miss a beat do you?” Um yes, I do. I missed the whole freaking band.

My point here is; I want everyone to know I’m not perfect. I get so many emails from you guys telling me how I’ve “got it all together,” and it makes my stomach hurt when I read that. I’m not over here like nailing life everyday. I love my job, but some days it is really really hard. I love my husband, but some days he drives me crazy AF (sorry, if you’re reading this).  I love being fit but some days I don’t want to workout. I have made so many mistakes on this journey. Some days you just need to drink wine and cut your hair off.

There are many coaches and wellness people that will tell you “If you are on a plan, don’t ever drink,” or “stick to the plan.” Here’s the thing: You will mess up. It doesn’t mean you are a failure.  If you need to have a glass of wine, have the damn wine and clean up the food. Binged? Start fresh tomorrow. The next time you look at Instagram or Facebook, remember this: It is OK to have a bad day.  When I started this blog, I promised honesty. And sometimes honesty has a boy haircut and chili breath.

Join me today; Start fresh and keep perspective. 🙂

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