This is me.

The left picture of me was two years ago. I was pretty down and out. I was working out, but struggling to lose the weight. After college, I did what most of us do. I buckled down, got a job I was passionate about and worked two jobs to make ends meet. I ate when I could, but most of the time I was grabbing sandwiches or eating appetizers with my coworkers at happy hour. I embraced my grind. I worked my ass off at a job I loved.We bought our first house. Two weeks later, my world was rocked. I lost my job. I fell into a depression. Going home to my barely unpacked home and telling my husband that I lost our secondary source of income was the most humiliating and soul shattering moment of my life. I spent the next few weeks struggling with what I would do. I hated who I saw in the mirror. I couldn’t believe I had sacrificed so much for something that was gone so instantly. My health, my time, my family. I had gone on vacations and hid from photos because I didn’t like the way I looked, spent hours Instagram editing my photos to look thinner, and wore big clothes to hide the damage I’d done to my body. It was in my darkest moments I decided that no one would ever again determine what I would do with my future. I wanted to become the type of woman other women looked up to. Someone who put in the work, gave back to their community, and also looked outside the way she felt inside.

Little did I know what would happen next. I started small in the gym. Found a safe space with my trainer Tracy. I learned about nutrition. I struggled through workouts. People laughed at my goals. I specifically remember at a bar (after losing my first 20 lbs) some dumbass drunk referred to me as “cankles.” Thanks asshole. People tore me down, questioned my motives, and made sure to celebrate my failures. I knew something they didn’t know though…My failures were just opportunities to learn. And I was just getting started..

My journey went on professionally too. I applied for an entry level job at a Fortune 500 company. I was overqualified with a Master’s Degree, but I didn’t care. I worked my way up at the company and did a ton of shit I didn’t want to do. I promoted to a manager within two years. When I wasn’t working; I was grinding in the gym. My new management job required me to travel, but rather than settle, I set a bigger goal: To compete in a bikini competition. I flew my food with me, learned about nutrition on the road, and found anywhere and everywhere I could to workout. I came, I competed, I placed.

What you are visiting now is another stepping stone in my process: Starting a conversation and a forum for strong women to support each other and create a conversation about how to live healthy lives, mentally, spiritually, and physically.  If you are interested in tearing other women down, please take the time to address your psychiatric issues and visit my blog later.  Along my journey there were many haters, doubters, and nay sayers. I no longer tolerate or accept women speaking poorly about other women. We are already expected to do so much. If we are strong, we are called a bitch. If our clothes are too tight, we are told to not attract attention. If we are pretty and successful, there are those that will assume we did unsavory things to get there. As women, we fight against stereotypes all day every day. As women, we owe it to ourselves to change the way we talk about female success.

Never again will I  let anyone determine who I  be in this world.  Use this space to learn and grow.

Namaste my friends! ,

Caitlin